I'm 22! I'm actually posting this on my birthday. I've seen a lot of people do this kind of post around their birthday so I thought I'd try it too. It was actually quite hard to think of 22 things but I got there in the end. So here we go.

22 Things I've Learned in 22 Years

1. It's better to have a few good friends than 100 bad ones

Honestly, having fake or bad friends can be so damaging to your mental health. It's great to have lots of great friends but what's the point having lots of fake friends? If you have a few good friends, you will really appreciate them more.

2. You have to be your own cheerleader

Don't wait for people to support you and gas you up for your achievements, you should celebrate yourself!

girl at Highcliffe castle dorset

3. I should stop calling myself dumb

I always say I'm dumb as a joke and that often provokes people to join in and say it to, when in reality I'm really not - I've nearly finished a degree.

4. Confidence is key but fake it 'til you make it

I've recently learned that confidence really is key. When you think of the most confident people, you wouldn't really try messing with them or putting them down. Although, it's hard to be confident, the more you try and act confident, the more it will come across to others that you are.

5. It isn't an edgy personality trait to like Lana Del Rey

My favourite artist is Lana Del Rey, don't know if you've heard of her? Haha 14 year old me thought I was so cool and different but really, you like what you like and it doesn't matter. It's not cool to try and be different.

6. I can't keep everything bottled up

I am someone who finds it really difficult to talk about trauma or how I'm feeling, I'll often make jokes out of things as a coping mechanism. Keeping it bottled up is the wrong way to deal with it because I'll often get overlooked. How will people know to be there for you if you don't let them know? I've found it's much more healthy to be open about how I feel.

7. Everyone is working at their own pace

The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others when it comes to your life goals. Especially in your 20s when some people are married with kids, and some people are just starting to figure out what they want to do. It's all FINE there's no rush on anything.

8. You shouldn't sacrifice your feelings just to get on with people

I hate confrontation so a lot of the time when people have peed me off I haven't said anything, but if someone wrongs you, they aren't going to realise unless you tell them.

9. Age doesn't mean anything

Again, everyone is working at their own pace it doesn't really matter about your age. I am also saying this because I am a 22 year old with some greys coming through.

10. You don't owe anything to anyone

In the past I felt like I had to do things for people and felt bad for saying no to things, but now I'll pretty much only go out of my way for people who deserve it.

11. Like what you like

This relates to my Lana Del Rey point earlier. Unfortunately there are people that will make fun of you for what you like so you may as well openly enjoy whatever it is you enjoy, unapologetically.

girl on the beach at sunset

12. Celebrate the small wins

I feel like no one gives themselves enough credit and this is why I'm going to celebrate small wins from now on. There are so many things in life worth celebrating so we may as well make the most out of them.

13. You don't have to have a life plan

Did anyone else's school make them feel like they were supposed to know what career they wanted to do when they were 16? I still have no idea haha my whole life is a long time to plan for and I don't want to be stuck doing something I don't actually like so it's better to have options than decide on one thing in my opinion.

14. Putting yourself first isn't selfish

Honestly, at the end of the day people will come and go but you will always have yourself, so you need to put yourself first sometimes.

15. Appreciate little things

I feel like I don't always fully appreciate good times until they are a memory and the more things that turn into memories, the more I realise I need to appreciate those things while they happen and not just after.

16. If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love somebody else?

So true, thank you RuPaul.

17. Saying no to people is fine 

Again, it's not selfish to set boundaries and to not do everything for people.

18. You won't always have awful taste in men

I used to always go for toxic males and now I have the nicest boyfriend ever and am winning at life, I just wish I didn't waste so much time.

19. There is a lot in the world that needs to change

As you get older, you realise that there are so many things that are wrong in the world and things you thought you knew seem to be untrue and that we need to make take active steps into spreading kindness and trying to make the world a better place.

20. You will probably feel 18 forever

Ever since turning 18, every year I feel like I haven't got any older and I think I will keep thinking I'm 18, at least for the near future anyway. I wonder if when I am 30, will I still feel like I'm 18?

21. Don't grow up too fast

When I was a teenager, all I wanted to do was be older but now, I am going to be an adult for the rest of my life. You are only young for a short amount of time so you may as well make the most out of it.

22. It will be harder to think of things for this post than what you thought

I struggled with finding 22 life lessons I've learnt, but I hope you enjoyed reading my list.

What's one thing you've learnt?



 AD - This post features my monthly advertisers. If you are interested in advertising with me then please contact me or find out more on my advertise with me page.

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I have really enjoyed sharing some of my favourite blogs with you each month, it's such a good way to interact with and discover new people.

Life of Morag blog logo

Firstly, we have Life of Morag, a fabulous blog all about travel, politics, health and life in general. I recently discovered Morag on Twitter and I'm so glad that I did, she has such insightful posts that are written from the heart. Be sure to check out her blog!

Start by reading these posts

A girl with a view blog logo

Tash from A Girl with a View is one of my all-time favourite bloggers. She writes about lifestyle, university, travel and more. I always make sure to keep up to date with her posts and you should too! If you love reading helpful, honest posts then you need to check out A Girl with a View.

Check out these posts by Tash

Pickle Emporium logo

Now, this suggestion is a little bit different as I usually advertise bloggers but why not promote small shops too? Prickle Emporium sell really lovely succulent plants and plant accessories. These plants would really brighten up a room and by buying them you would be really supporting a small business. Make sure to check out Prickle Emporium for your plant needs.

Lynn Mumbing Mejia blog logo
Lynn Mumbing Mejia is a great lifestyle blogger with some really helpful posts about DIY and life in general. My favourite posts of hers are her recipes, they always look amazing! If you want really informative posts and advice then you need to check out Lynn's blog!

Make sure you read these posts by Lynn

Sophia Patel blog logo
And finally, last but definitely not least we have Sophia Patel. From blogging help to lifestyle and travel, Sophia has such an amazing range of posts on her blog. If you love reading all about lifestyle or need a bit of blogging advice from time to time then her blog is definitely for you!

Check out these posts from Sophia

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy these blogs and shops as much as I do, let me know what you think of them. I loved having them on my blog! Remember, if you want to advertise with me for as little as £3 per month then you can just reach out to me.



This is a guest post from Sophia Patel.

Blogging can be a challenge, especially when you feel like you are always scraping for content. After 6 years, at times I can find it a weekly struggle to come up with content good enough. There are, however, several tools and habits to stop you from walking down this path - one of them is establishing your niche. Here's how.

Get To Know Your Audience

Just like your blog, your audience will evolve. You will gain some, lose some, and others will stick with you along the way. Base your key topics of interest on your analytics - what are my most popular posts within a particular time frame? What is the demographic of your audience? Both your topic and audience have to work together, otherwise, you will have no one reading your posts. For example, a parenting blog would not be 100% relevant if your audience were 10-15-year-old boys, would it? Establish your demographic first.

What Are You Interested In?

Over the last few years, I had had so much inner conflict with this. I started as a beauty blogger (reviewing the likes of Benefit's They're Real Mascara). Now, you will see 3 beauty posts per year. Why? Because over time your niche will naturally change. I have always considered it an evolution because the ideas you come up with at silly hours in the morning is usually a clue as to what you want to post. And let's be honest, content is always better when it comes from the heart. That's why over time I have ditched the beauty and moved into blogging tips for beginners and home & finance. When the content slowly evolves, some will stick around, and some will leave - that's just part of the process.

laptop coffee and to do list

Don't Try and Blog About Everything

This is a mistake I learned pretty late on. Over time, it is so easy to add a little bit of everything. Been on holiday? Blog about that. Done some clothes shopping? Blog about that. Cooked yourself a nice meal? Blog about that. Just in this example, your blogging niche has expanded to travel, fashion and food. But it begs the question of which one is your direct niche. I have been calling myself a lifestyle blogger for years, yet what does it mean? If new audiences want to gain a snippet from your blog and see a dozen blog posts in different niches they may be slightly confused. Nail down your focus to a few interlinking topics (I have linked blogging tips and home niches by talking about creating a home office to blog), and perfect them. Chances are, there will always be someone else blogging about the niche you ditched so no need to worry.

If You Cannot Write About It, It's Not The One

If you have a niche that you love, but cannot ultimately write content about, then it is not the one. Increased competition means that posts need to be near 1000 words to meet the requirements of Google. If your niche cannot meet that easily, you will still struggle for content. When thinking of a niche, without any resources - make a list of as many blog posts as you can. When I moved to home and interior blogging, I came up with 50 ideas, meaning I could effectively have enough titles for the next 6 months (excluding guest posts and exclusive content). Bounce blogging ideas off one another and aim to interlink many of your posts (a series / two part post). Not only will this help to create content, but strengthen your niche.

What Blogs Do You Read?

Chances are, your niche and the topics you are interested in are going to be linked. If you are still struggling to pinpoint your niche, look at it from a different angle and self-reflect. Think about yourself - your hobbies, career path, the books you read and the blogs you follow. Create a Venn diagram if need be and see where it all overlaps.

Then look at the competition. If the market is oversaturated, it is going to be difficult to stand odd / offer content that Google doesn't have the answer to. E.g. Blogging tips is a very large field with lots of high DA Bloggers competing. As this is something I want to pursue, my niche has shifted to beginner level. We strip back all the technical terms and start from scratch. The key is to find a balance where you are offering content that has not been done a million times before, and something that you have enough experience to talk about. After all, list posts and how-to's are the most popular.

working on laptop with flat white

Give It Time

This is the number one piece of advice. Blogging takes time, finding your niche takes time. If you find it straight away then you are the lucky one - but more than likely a new blogging niche is caused by a love for something else and a critique of current work. If you ever have that dilemma, then it is time to change, because otherwise it'll be shown in your content.

About the Author:

I am Sophia - a recent marketing graduate who is blogging full time in lockdown. I talk about all things blogging; as well as the progress on renovation of an 18th century home on a budget, to boost valuation for sale.


I am continuing on my blog series called The Low Down. I haven't done a post in this series for a while so if you are new to reading my posts, I basically just write my opinion on things in this post. I've written about things like student housing, friendships and being a fussy eater before, and this time I'm going to be writing about toxic positivity.

long grass by the sea
Image by Nathan Cowley on Pexels.

What is Toxic Positivity?

Before looking into toxic positivity, and hearing a few things about it on social media, I didn't know anything about it. 

"Toxic positivity is the assumption, either by one's self or others, that despite a person's emotional pain or difficult mindset" - Dr Jaime Zuckerman, clinical psychologist in Pennsylvania. Read the full toxic positivity article on healthline.

Toxic positivity has become even more prevalent in the pandemic. How often have you told someone you are having a tough time to be faced with responses like "it could be worse" or "everyone has that" or even "you should feel lucky?" You may have even responded in this way to people.

It supports the rhetoric that we are not allowed to feel sad or in a bad mood and we must try to feel positive and think positively. It's not possible to think positively 24/7 so why, as a society, do we try to push this?

What can we do about Toxic Positivity?

I think it's definitely important first and foremost to recognise toxic positivity. Before reading about it, I wouldn't have even known that it can be harmful to people and a lot of the time, people believe they are helping by trying to make other people think positively.

Obviously, it is great to have a positive mindset and, I'm just saying that it's impossible to expect this from people all the time and if you or your friends are feeling down, it's important to look after yourself and recognise that you are down so you can deal with the emotions, rather than just pushing them away while trying to be positive.

Change your approach

Start with yourself. If you're feeling down then remember that's ok and hopefully you will feel more positive another day - remember to go easy on yourself and treat yourself with kindness. 

As for being there for others, if someone is coming to you with a problem or they are feeling sad, think about how to approach this. Instead of trying to get them to think positively, just tell them you are there for them and it's ok to feel sad now and again. Ultimately, if someone is coming to you with an issue, they will be reassured that you are there for them, there is no need for saying things like "it's ok, you have nothing to be upset about," as we spoke about earlier.

Just to reiterate - positive mindsets are GOOD and it's great if you are mostly positive. However, not everyone has that mindset all the time and it can do more harm than good to try and force people to look on the bright side when they are feeling low.

What are your thoughts on toxic positivity?