MAKING FRIENDS AS AN ADULT: THE LOW DOWN

Welcome to another post in my The Low Down series, where I give you the Low Down on important stuff.

I don't know about you but I feel like it seems to be harder to make friends as an adult. When you're at school or university, you kind of make friends with the people you see every day because you are all put into a situation together.

Since leaving uni, I have made a few new friends but it is a very different process. My friends from uni or childhood, I don't even remember how I made friends with them, we just have a friendship. So when I think of making new friends it's a bit more difficult.

Having said that, I feel like people as adults are way more accepting and open to new friendships, whereas school kids are kind of mean and form cliques. 

Tips for making friends as an adult

1. Network online

Through blogging and Instagram, I have met some really great people. You can find people who you have a lot in common with and it is a lot easier to approach people online too.

Obviously, making friends online can be dangerous with catfishing etc, so please be careful in doing this.

In Salisbury, there is a group called the Salisbury Social on Instagram where anyone is welcome to join social events including book clubs, drinks and more. Groups like this are great if you have moved to a new area and you want to make new friends because you're all in the same boat. 

Does your city have a group like this? If not, why not start one?

Related: Friendships: The Low Down

2. Put yourself out there

This is such a cringe piece of advice that I hear all the time but it's true. In order to make new friends as an adult, you really do need to be confident enough to put yourself out there and reach out to people. This can be really daunting, but the more you do it, the easier it will become.

Ask your work colleagues if they want to meet up after work, message people online to meet (safely of course) just do it without worrying too much.

A lot of people have a fear of rejection, but the only way to get over that fear is to face it head-on and think, what is the worst that can happen if someone doesn't want to meet up with me or be friends with me?

If that does happen and you do end up being ghosted or rejected, then that is just a sign that you aren't meant to be friends with that person and they probably aren't worth your time.

3. Don't be desperate

Not trying to be savage with this one, what I really mean is evaluate the reason you are looking for friends. Be careful and selective with who you choose to be friends with because it's important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, rather than making friends for the sake of it.

I guess I'm just saying make sure you make friends that make you happy and if you end up meeting people who don't that's ok. The only way to find out if you will like someone or not is to actually get to know them first.

You may find that you have tried to become friends with someone and they have completely different views to you, or maybe they don't make you feel quite as good about yourself as they should. It doesn't mean you are stuck there.

As difficult as it can be to make friends as an adult sometimes, it's definitely way easier to lose them too (if you feel you need to).

At this age, I'm definitely way more selective about who I spend my time with. Especially because I am so busy with work and everything now, my free time is very precious and I usually try to spend it wisely with people who make me feel good.

Related: My journey to confidence: the low down

How have you found making friends as an adult?