DEALING WITH HIGH FUNCTIONING ANXIETY - GUEST POST

Saturday

This is a guest post from Rachael Hawksworth.

Hi. My name is Rachael, I have a full and fun social life, a fantastic job and crippling high functioning anxiety.


Since I was a little girl I have been very talkative. I've been described as HAPPY, talkative, bubbly and enthusiastic my whole life. I attended drama school, studied dance and put myself out there to help anyone out, with anything. Anyone meeting me would describe me as confident, outgoing and friendly.


However I viewed myself as annoying. Loud, rude, in your face too much. Convinced that I talk too much, to much about myself or don't talk enough! I have a terrible habit of trying to please everyone and keep everyone happy from fear of them disliking me or not wanting to be my friend. Because I have believed for so long that no one would actually want to be friends with me, it must be because of things I do for them. Or, even worse, that if I do anything wrong then they’ll realise they don’t actually like me!



Underneath all this self doubt, I was desperately sad. But everyone always told me I was happy? Super positive!? I found myself convincing myself I was ok because everyone saw me that way.


I only realised when I was 28 that torturing myself this way wasn’t just how I was, it was anxiety. It took YEARS for me to accept and ask for help. Mainly because I didn’t realise what anxiety really looked like, the emotional and the physical symptoms are what caught me off guard. I always thought of anxiety as a strong anxious feeling! But its so much more.


I knew I had a problem for a while. I’d find myself rocking back and forth with my head in my hands, trying to soothe myself. Working in a busy, customer facing management role in hospitality, managing 3 teams of 120 people total and yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house sometimes, crippled with social anxiety and a feeling of severe dread for no apparent reason. I’d be going to parties with friends one weekend, then the next I’d barely be able to get my words out, stuttering and uncontrollable overthinking.


Cycle of completing a task with high functioning anxiety
Cycle of completing a task with high functioning anxiety


I did nothing about it. I didn’t seek help, I ignored it. Made all the typical excuses...
I talk to hundreds of staff and customers every week, I host parties at work and am always putting myself out there... how could I be ‘Anxious’’


I'm so confident... I can’t have anxiety? I felt GUILTY for even thinking that I could have anxiety... like I was belittling others who REALLY suffered with anxiety by comparing myself with them.


The reason I am sharing this with you and the rest of the internet is because there are bound to be hundreds, even thousands of people out there who are suffering in silence. Battling with themselves and unable to admit there is anything wrong. Could be you, could be someone you care about...


Everyone’s experience of anxiety disorders is different. Not everyone who has an anxiety disorder will experience the same symptoms.


Mental symptoms of anxiety can include:

  • racing thoughts,
  • uncontrollable over-thinking,
  • difficulties concentrating,
  • feelings of dread, panic or ‘impending doom’,
  • feeling irritable,
  • heightened alertness,
  • problems with sleep,
  • changes in appetite,
  • wanting to escape from the situation you are in, and
  • dissociation.


If you dissociate you might feel like you are not connected to your own body. Or like you are watching things happen around you, without feeling it.


Physical symptoms of anxiety can include:

  • sweating,
  • heavy and fast breathing,
  • hot flushes or blushing,
  • dry mouth,
  • shaking,
  • hair loss,
  • fast heartbeat,
  • extreme tiredness or lack of energy
  • dizziness and fainting, and
  • stomach aches and sickness.

What is High Functioning Anxiety?


High Functioning Anxiety - How it appears vs how it feels

High Functioning Anxiety - How it appears vs how it feels


If you feel like this is you, then I hope you might feel a sense of relief. Like you finally have permission to accept that you are struggling! Your feelings are validated and your not just ‘broken’ or ‘crazy’ - BOTH things I told myself for YEARS.


Human beings are not perfect, no one of us is! You don’t have to try to be. You can seem like a social butterfly and still suffer from a inability to even leave the house some days.


What to do if you recognise the symptoms of High Functioning Anxiety in yourself...


  • Reach out for help!
    It is not weak to ask for help, its the strongest thing you can do. Family, friends, loved ones who you can trust are great ones to reach out too but there are also lots of websites and organisations that you can speak too for advice.

    Anxiety UK
    Charity providing support if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.
    Phone: 03444 775 774 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5.30pm)
    Website: www.anxietyuk.org.uk

    CALM
    CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably. A charity providing a mental health helpline and webchat.
    Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)
    Website: www.thecalmzone.net

    Men's Health Forum
    24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.
    Website: www.menshealthforum.org.uk

    Mental Health Foundation
    Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.
    Website: www.mentalhealth.org.uk

    Mind
    Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
    Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)
    Website: www.mind.org.uk

    Rethink Mental Illness
    Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
    Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm)
    Website: www.rethink.org
  • Recognise and address symptoms as they come up. There are plenty of grounding techniques and mindfulness & breathing exercises to do.
  • Start journaling!
    There is a journal for everything nowadays - productivity journals, daily, weekly or monthly journals, mindfulness journals... anything that you could want or need to track and plan - THERES A JOURNAL OR PLANNER FOR IT! Feeling organised and physically writing down your thoughts and ideas helps ease anxiety symptoms SO much.
    Often times your heads a mess with over thinking and your not able to focus... writing everything down, getting it out of your head and into physical form means you can make sense of it all.
  • Speak to your doctor and consider counselling
    Anti-depressants and anti anxiety medication has had this stigma around it for so long, its very annoying!! If you had a illness in your body and you need help, you go to your doctor no they prescribe medicine. This includes your mental health! Your doctor will go over all your options, they are highly trained in dealing with mental health and can advise you in any way you need. Plus they can refer you to local mental health organisations and even for counselling.

If you know someone who has High Functioning Anxiety or you think might have then speak to them about it. Be gentle and kind, understand that they may not be ready to talk about it but showing them that you are there to listen when they are ready to talk will make the biggest difference!


Most of the time someone with a anxiety disorder really needs to just talk, they need someone who will listen to them and let them vent and feel what they are feeling! It’s easy to try to say things which you THINK are helpful but that’s really not...


Things NOT to say to someone who is suffering from a anxiety disorder...


‘’It could be worse, other people have it way worse than you’’

‘’Cheer up’’

‘’You’ll be fine, you’ll get over it’’

‘’But your so happy, are you sure its anxiety and your not just being dramatic?’’


What may not seem like much on the outside, could be significantly effecting someone on the inside. No doubt the person who is opening up to you about their anxiety disorder, already has been telling themselves all of the above! The fact they feel comfortable speaking to you about it and opening up is a HUGE step. 



SANE Provides emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers.
Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: www.sane.org.uk/textcare
Peer support forum: www.sane.org.uk/supportforum
Website: www.sane.org.uk/support

YoungMinds provide information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.
Parents' helpline 0808 802 5544

MEET MY MARCH ADVERTISERS

Sunday

AD - This post features my monthly advertisers. If you are interested in advertising with me then please contact me or find out more information on my advertise with me page.

 

Woman working on laptop

Welcome to my March Advertisers post. In this post, I will be sharing with you all of the blogs that you need to check out this month.

Sunshine Sarah blog logo
First up is Sunshine Sarah, a fitting name as Sarah is a ray of sunshine. Her content always leaves me feeling more positive and her blog is beautiful! If you want some positivity to brighten up your life then you definitely need to check Sarah's blog out.

Posts you need to check out from Sarah


not my body type blog logo

The next blog you have to check out this month is Not My Body Type. Alice is a critical care nurse but alongside that, she writes all about fashion and style and I really love her posts! She also highlights mental health and body image issues.

Start by checking out these posts

Amy Marshment profile picture

Amy Marshment is one of my favourite people that I have connected with on Twitter and I love her blog! She is always just looking to support people and is generally lovely. She specialises in lifestyle, personal growth and beauty so if that's your thing definitely check her out.

Amy's posts you need to see

The Sunday Blogger logo
Zoe from The Sunday Blogger is another one of my favourite lifestyle bloggers. It's a perfect chilled Sunday afternoon read. On The Sunday Blogger, you can expect to find brilliant content all about self-care and wellbeing, beauty, travel and lifestyle. I would definitely recommend checking her out!

Here are some posts you should check out:


Steff's Journey logo

If you love lifestyle and blogging content, then you need to check out Steff's Journey. Steff writes all about her life and blogging experiences and she even interviews other bloggers too.

Start by checking out these posts:


Our favourite jar logo

Finally, we have Our Favourite Jar. Claire writes all sorts of great posts about lifestyle and family. Her posts are always really honest, so if you want to read about real-life family accounts, lifestyle and even up your blogging game then you definitely need to check out Our Favourite Jar!

Here are some posts from Our Favourite Jar to check out


And there we have it, thank you to these wonderful blogs for advertising with me. I hope you love their blogs as much as I do! If you missed last month's then don't forget to check out my meet my February advertisers post.

7 WAYS TO ENHANCE YOUR CV

Saturday

This post contains affiliate links, meaning if you purchase a product through my links I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

I am graduating university this year, probably at the worst time for jobs with the pandemic so I may be freaking out a little bit. However, I am determined to get a job after I finish so I have been trying to find ways to enhance my CV and LinkedIn profiles to try to make me stand out a little more. I thought I'd share ways I try to enhance my CV with you as I know a lot of other students and graduates will probably be in the same boat as me. It's more competitive now for graduate jobs than ever before so we are going to need to find ways to boost our employability and experience (I say we because we are in this together).


So here are some tips on what I have done, plan to do or what I think would help you enhance your CV and make you more employable.


woman working on laptop
Image from picjumbo.com.


Top tips on enhancing your CV


1. Gain as much experience as you can


I know with the pandemic, this is a lot harder than it normally would be. In my degree, you could either do a 4 week work placement or a year placement. I chose to do the year placement and I worked for a year as a marketing intern. Now, I have a year's worth of marketing experience so when I come to apply to a job that requires a year's experience in marketing, I can apply knowing I have that experience - so if you are able to do a placement year, I say do it! This tip will be more difficult and I'm aware that it's much harder to gain experience which is why I have included the other tips too!

2. Volunteer


Again, it can be hard to be a volunteer but you can volunteer online. I've seen social media volunteering positions where you can post from home and you can still count this as volunteering on your CV and LinkedIn. There are lots of NHS volunteering positions available to.


3. Start a blog


OK I am biased with this one but I really believe it is a great way to gain an online presence. Whatever your are of expertise is or whatever area you want to go into, start a blog with that theme. Yes, it can be a little time consuming but is much easier than finding work experience at the moment and you can put as much time as you like into it. It shows you spend your time dedicated to something else other than just your studies.

Having a blog is also a good point of conversation at interviews and I have linked my blog in my CV and LinkedIn so companies can find out more about me and get more of a sense of my personal brand. I could go on for ages on how I think starting a blog would be beneficial to any career, maybe I will write an entirely separate post on this in the future.

4. Attend Webinars


There are lots of free webinars out there that can help you be more knowledgeable on a subject area. For example, I joined one last year all about Instagram engagement and I found that really helpful for me. I do a media degree so this was helpful for me but there are lots of different ones you can sign up to for a variety of areas. 

5. Complete online courses


Again, with it being harder to go out and get some experience, the best thing to do is see what you can do online. When I was doing my marketing internship I completed the Digital Marketing course on Google Digital Garage. This gave me a certificate that I could put on my LinkedIn so if a company see it, it will show I am willing to put time in to learn more about my area. On Google Digital Garage, there are even short courses on being better on public speaking and productivity which can be used for any job.

6. Enhance the layout of your CV


The first thing that an employer will notice about your CV is the layout. A smart looking, well designed CV will look far more interesting than a plain word document. Don't be worried about this, there are loads of free templates on Canva that look really good.


7. Use LinkedIn


I know this isn't technically enhancing your CV but it's important to utilise LinkedIn. If you apply for a job, it's likely that they could look you up on there so if you are on there actively showing off all the other things you are doing to be employable like your online courses it will look more impressive than if they don't find you - or if there's nothing on there. It's just another good way to show off in basic terms.

In short, just try and do as many things as you can to set you apart from other people like you who may be applying to similar roles.
Do you have any career tips? I'd love to hear them.

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10 PRODUCTIVE THINGS TO DO ON A SUNDAY FOR THE BEST WEEK

This is a guest post from Merry at Monodreame.

Sundays are usually a day of rest and relaxation, right? I usually go somewhere with my friend but now, during the pandemic, I just stay at home and spend the day with family, my adorable dogs, and be productive to welcome the new week. So now I will share with you what things to do on Sunday for the best week.


No place like home cushion

Photo credit: Jelena Mirkovic.


I know some people suffer from Sunday night blues (yeah me too). The feeling that we have to go work or for now, working from home on Monday and get the whole routine of getting the children ready for school, etc. It is essential to start your week well and it is important to create a Sunday routine to start your week off on the right foot.


I don’t want to overwhelm you! In fact, you don't have to do all of this, you can pick and choose which one works for you. I find that planning my week makes me feel my best, especially come Monday. Since I started working at home, I don't even hate Mondays anymore.


Everything is a lot easier to deal with when you spend your weekend being productive. Trust me, with all these things to do on Sunday, you are setting yourself up for a very productive and successful week.


Plan Your Week

Starting in the beginning of 2020, I am always planning my monthly, weekly, and daily tasks. This has been life-changing for me. I’ve been struggling to keep on track with everything I accomplished.

This usually takes me about an hour. It’s kinda fun to plan your week. I psychically write in a planner and make it pretty.

Some people might find it stressful, but knowing what I have to do for the week let’s me enjoy the rest of my Sunday without that anxiety of what Monday brings. This is where I list my priorities first, then fill in the rest next.

Schedule Workouts

This goes back to planning your week, but don’t forget this part!

Some people that I know like to go to the gym - so if you’re one of gym lover, book any classes!

I’m not a fan of heavy workout, instead I like to run at the nearby park, do light exercise at home, make some walk dates with friends, and put them in your calendar or planner.

Plan Your Meals

When planning your weekly task, you can also plan out your meals so it’s one less thing to think about. It’s ABSOLUTELY AMAZING living out a week of this, too. Check if you have any events out of the house and then plan on cooking around that. Then, make that grocery list and go to the store.

Go to the Grocery

I find that weekends, especially Sundays are a great time to go to the store.


Honestly, it’s because on Sunday I will have a lot of time to spend outside rather than weekdays.

Declutter

Spend 30 minutes or an hour decluttering your space - your home, office, car, life.


Will you be able to clean your workspace? Organize your stationery or makeup tools? Put laundry away? Do a wipe down of your house or at least your bedroom? Do it!

Clean Out Your Fridge

If you go through your fridge once a week, it saves it from becoming a hot mess. I toss anything I didn’t eat or use and do a little wipe down if I’m feeling really productive. If you need to do a full clean out, by the way, start here.

Do Laundry

After decluttering and cleaning your fridge, you can also do your laundry.

There’s nothing worse than waking up on Monday then realizing you have nothing clean to wear! Or waiting until like Friday night to do it all and then staring at a huge pile of clean laundry waiting for you after work. Right? So just do it Sunday.

Self-care

Sundays are a great day for a little self-care at home, and what I mean by that is a bath + face mask combo which is the BEST.

You could also get a mani/pedi, read your favorite books, or whatever feels like taking care of yourself. Here are some self-care products that I know you’ll LOVE!

Relax + Rest + Restore

Spend some time relaxing. You can take a nap, stretch, or hang with your family/friends. Do something that RESTORES your mind, body or soul. I usually go to church and watch a movie or go for a long walk and kinda incorporate it throughout my day, but especially in the evening.

Additionally, it’s rainy days and there are a lot of fun things you can do on rainy or even snow days at home!

Go to bed early

The best piece of advice I can give – set yourself up for a good week with a good night’s sleep! This article can help if you aren’t the best sleeper.

Anything else y’all do on Sundays to plan for your week? I’d love to hear!

Author Bio

Merry Sari is a blogger and content writer who shares tips, tricks, and advice about blogging, self-care, and lifestyle on her blog, “Monodreame.” You will find her informative contents to help bloggers build and grow their blogs. Find more about her on Twitter and Instagram.